As you may remember last week was a hard working mommy week. I worked long hours and I totally missed my hubby and kids. It just felt like the week was never going to end and I could not keep it all balanced. I definitely did not feel like I was working it at all.
But after a long weekend and some time to reflect and relax I feel much better. Plus, I have to admit this whole blogging thing is quite therapeutic.
Over the last year I feel like I got this whole working mom thing down. It took a while but when I stopped feeling sorry for myself and finally accepted the fact that I was going to be a working mom I decided then to try my hardest to be the "best" working mom I could be.
In future posts I do plan on sharing my struggles with going from maternity leave back to work. I feel that I have a lot of insight and experiences that could help out some moms that are going through that now.
But anyway back to the topic at hand.
So while I try hard to keep it all together I am not perfect. I have bad days. Hell sometimes I have bad weeks. But I try to learn so I can minimize them as much as possible.
This is what I learned from last week. I felt that my job was consuming me. I could not get that work life balance. When I was at work I was stress about home. When I was home I was stressed about work. Everybody from every corner of my life wanted a piece of me at all the wrong times. And then I found myself just complaining. And not constructively. I was having full blown bitch sessions with colleagues and then when I got home with my poor hubby. It just made it worse.
So now that my head is clear I can look back on last week and figure out where I went wrong and how I can make it better. This is the thing my job is what it is. It is not going to change. And like I have said before I love my career but sometimes I just hate to work. But I am not going to quit because I have it too good so I need to find ways to make it work.
Ok this is what I did right last week. It is scary to me to think how bad my week could have been if I did not somewhat prepare for the craziness.
- Stay organized. Make sure every article of clothing is wash and ready to wear for the week. And I am talking about my clothes and the girls. Sorry but hubby is on his own unless I have time to take care of his stuff.
- My freezer cooking did come in handy.
- Go into the week with a somewhat clean house. I am not a neat freak by any stretch of the imagination but I just feel mentally better when things are straightened up a bit.
Now this is were I think I made it way worse for myself.
- I knew last week was going to be busy. My calendar did not lie to me. I prepared and did the best I could. But for some reason I still complained and bitched. And that made a stressful situation way worse. And I don't know why I got like that because I usually am a very positive person. I think if I would have just stayed positive instead of complaining and getting myself more worked up last week would have been so much better. I guess I just let the negativity get the best of me. Mind over matter. The power of positive thinking works wonders.
- I should never talk about work at home. I mean here I am stressed out about work. I finally get home and then I just bring work up again. Leave work at work period. Today when I got home I just sat with the girls and read, played games, and then relaxed to Elmo. It was so awesome. I did not think about work once. In addition, I told my staff not to call or text me after 5:00pm. Nothing I do is life threatening so it can wait.
- Give 100% at home when at home and 100% at work when I am at work. Try not to worry about about the one when I should be focused on the other.
- I need to go to sleep when I get the chance. As much as I love blogging, facebook, twitter, and surfing the Internet I need to shut it down at a certain point. There were days last week I was on the computer, once the kids went to bed, till after midnight.
- Eat healthy. When I have long busy days I need to keep fueled up with healthy foods. Not crap. I can tell the difference in myself if I choose Doritos over crackers and peanut butter.
These tips are not groundbreaking. Really it just comes down to keeping a healthy mind and healthy body. Just staying focused and positive. But I think the big one is understanding that no one is perfect but being able to recognize when life is getting a bit off balanced so you can make some adjustments.
Also, I am writing this post from my experience as a working mom. But I think these lessons learned and tips can be easily applied to SAHM or WAHM for sure. All moms have so much on their plate. Sometimes I do feel like we are superwomen. I mean seriously how do we do what we do and look so damn good doing it!
Ok sexy mamas, your turn, give me your tips on making it all work when life just seems to get the best of you.
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Just popping by from SITS!
Whew! Working full time and being a parent is tough! I’m currently a SAHM but I was also a 50-60 hour work week mom who was “on call” as a Transplant Nurse for a full week per month! That was tough trying to keep work at work and home at home. I didn’t do a very good job of it!
Keep up the good job.
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 7:31 am
@mommykennedy thanks for stopping by! Yes it is tough but I try my hardest that is for sure. I cannot even imagine being an on call nurse I bet that was so tough. Thanks for the encouragement I appreciate!
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I delegate, delegate, delegate. Sounds cliche but everyone in my house has some responsibility. Unfortunately as working moms, we have two jobs: our paid job and the job that will be our definining job: raising our children. I delegate a lot of household responsibility to my children such as clean up, washing their own clothes, etc. I do this so I’m not so overloaded on domestic duties and I can spend more quality time with them and not trying to split duties between washing clothes and read to them.
I also try to get as much done on Sunday as possible. I usually cook or prepare the week’s food and then freeze it and then have my husband bake it or heat it the day we need to eat it.
Most importantly, I try not to do everything and be everything. The truth is it’s ok not to have to clean everyday or cook everyday.
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 7:57 am
@kim yes I need to get much better at delegating. And at my paid job and my real job of mommy and wife.
But the freezer cooking I swear makes all the difference in minimizing stress during the week. Thanks for stopping by!
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Think you hit the nail on the head: keep things in perspective. It’s easier said than done but when you are reading stories at bedtime and thinking about work issues at the same time, ackowledge that it’s not healthy and let the work worries go. At least until tomorrow x
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 8:23 am
@knackered mother yes I totally agree. I try not to let work enter my mind when I am home. I am usually pretty good and when it does happen I notice right away the stress it causes. Thanks for joining the discussion.
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Well, so I’ve found a new partner in all this. I’m reading what could easily be my life. One of the best things you wrote was to give 100% where you are. True. You just cannot let the worlds collide. Insanity will surely follow. And by insanity, I totally mean a dirty house and laundry:)
mobrownsuga
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 8:22 am
@mariah thanks for stopping by my blog. Yes it is hard when the worlds collide. I think that is when being a working mommy is the hardest.
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I really need to get better about stepping away from the computer too! The sad thing is, I have email, FB, Twitter, etc. on my Iphone, so when I do manage to step away from the computer I go over to the couch and pick it up and start checking everything some more. It’s like a reflex. And I wind up being up way too late!!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 8:20 am
@themommyologist I do not have an iphone yet. I want one though but maybe I should think twice about it
It is a blessing and a curse to be so connected all the time ya know?
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Whew! I needed to read that! I am a WAHM, and some days/weeks I feel like I’m drowning! It’s really difficult for me to stay positive about my work when my house is messy or I feel disorganized because I work at home. It’s hard to me to find the balance of working and being happy about it and getting the laundry or dishes done. I’m currently watching a 4 month old, three 1 year olds, and a 3 year old in my home. The 3 and 1 year old are mine. I think ALL moms really ARE superheros! We’re the strongest people in the world!
But I find that having a solid schedule (including a chore schedule) helps minimize my stress, as well as the freezer cooking. I LOVE THAT!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 10:33 pm
@morethanamom thanks for stopping by! Yes we are all superwoman!! I notice a huge difference when I am not using a schedule or to-do list. I am not crazy OCD organized but I do try to stay on top of things and that helps out a lot.
I give you a lot of credit watching all those kiddos. That is a ton of work! Sometimes you just need a break for you.
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Great post! I need to incorporate more of these tips too! Happy Wednesday!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
@ tina thanks. Have a great wednesday!
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I agree..delegate! We have charts for what everyone is responsible for. Everyone needs to help!
Stopping by from SITS to say HI! I have made a promise to myself to visit and comment on all blogs posted to spread the love!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
@ deinise well thanks girly for stopping by blog. I will have to try the charts. great idea!
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I love your post! I’m guilty of this too and my husband reminds me of it often! A tip I’m going to try enforcing myself to use is to make a “6 most important things to do list”. Everyday I will write a list for work and one for home. Whatever doesn’t get done that day, I’ll add it to the top of the next day’s list. One is more likely to get things done when there is a plan. I learned this tip from my Mary Kay business — at tip Mary Kay invented and used herself. Helps reinforce things getting done and positive feeling of accomplishment so there is less to complain about!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
@vanessa yes I love to-do lists. Not sure how I would survive if I did not use them. That is a great tip! Thank you!
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I am the worst at bringing work home. Hubby always tells me to let it go, but I have a hard time doing that sometimes.
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 1:10 pm
@ melissa I know I always bring work home with me. But I am working my hardest to stop that because I have a million things I need to get done at home. Not to mention just relax with my girls and hubby.
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I only work part time but it wears me out and I don’t get anything done at home. I tip my hat to you!
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The whole idea of work/life balance is silly. You just cannot “balance” it all. Some things need more than 50% of your time. Some things need 100% of your time, 100% of the time. The best thing you can do is give up perfectionism, or thinking that everything has to be perfect to be good. Sure, do your best, but also let go of anything that cannot be made perfect.
I am so enjoying your blog!!
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Sometimes I just fake my way through it!
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So glad to hear you are having a better week than last week. I SAH right now but will need to find a job. I wish blogging could bring in lots of money so I wouldn’t have to go back.
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 17th, 2010 at 11:22 pm
@ Tammy I hear ya! Wouldn’t that be so awesome if blogging ended up paying the bills. BTW did you see that I linked up to your blog in my sunday review post? Check it out!
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Oh man…don’t know how you do it! Seriously! Lots of the gals on here seem to have really great advice for managing time…but I know I’d fail miserably at this…I would be so overwhelmed! You’re doing your best so pat yourself on the back!
http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/
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I love this one:
“Give 100% at home when at home and 100% at work when I am at work. Try not to worry about about the one when I should be focused on the other. ”
Guilty of bringing work problems at home and family problems at work…
Gee…maybe that’s the reason my name appears next to STRESS! lol :p
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 20th, 2010 at 9:38 am
@ Anne I do really try to use my own advice because when i do it works wonders at reducing my stress level.
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I agree with all of this. Staying positive, shutting down the internet, & keeping the house clean to start the week. Those are probably my #1 tips to surviving the stress of being a working mom.
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:34 am
@blair. Thanks so much for visiting my blog. I love yours! I was just thinking today how productive my life would be on the weekends if I would just shut down the internet. Totally agree. Thanks for sharing your tips.
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THANK YOU for this post. It is a struggle that is for sure. It is hard to shut down every night and my husband and I just talked about that yesterday – that we both need to put down the bberrys and just talk again. I’m looking forward to reading more!
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