Please know I am writing right now in pure exhaustion. So if sentences run and I sound drunk just understand that I am going on no sleep and have been dealing with a 2 1/2 year old who is trying to break records for temper tantrums and still does not sleep through the night. Ok I am pretty sure that is a run on sentence. But I am too tired and exhausted to care.
Let's talk the terrible twos. Because to be quite honest I need your help. In fact today I wish I had Super Nanny.
My first daughter did not go through what some say are the terrible twos. I mean she was not perfect and believe she had her moments but it wasn't anything that I felt was out of the ordinary for a "normal" two year old.
But now my second little diva. Oh lord! She takes terrible twos to a whole new level. From the moment she wakes up it is "MOMMY COME AND GET ME" "MOMMY I DO IT" "MOMMY NO" "MOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYY" And there is lots of crying and screaming in between. Have a good mental picture in your head yet. Some days I feel like she is conducting some form of two year old voodoo torture on me. And then enter the sibling fighting. Oh my it just becomes to much to bear.
Obviously not everyday is bad but lately it feels like their are more bad days than good. Oh god am I a bad mommy for just saying that. Screw it! This is real life. And I feel the only way for me to deal with this is to be honest so I can fix it.
Today I was just at my wits end. I tried everything. Coloring, reading, play-doh, even Elmo could not keep this child happy.
I know "the books" and "the experts" talked about the terrible twos and they also talk about the lack of sleep a mom gets. However, I am pretty sure they DO NOT talk about how you are suppose to deal with the terrible two when you are completely exhausted.
So tell me how do you manage your children when it seems like nothing will make them happy? Anyone else dealing with the terrible twos right now?
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
You’re definitely not a bad mommy. I think everyone has those kind of days. I don’t have any advice because my 3.5 yr old never went through the terrible twos. But I have a feeling I may experience it with my new little demanding baby! I may have to come back to you for advice!
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 6:50 am
@melissa I know my first one NEVER went through the “terrible twos” so when I had my second I was totally shocked. She is so different than her sister it was like everything I learned about parenting from one was thrown out the window with the other.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and joining the discussion.
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Just stopped by to check out the blog! Following from MBC FFF, come follow back if you get the chance!
Diane
http://turning-the-clock-back.blogspot.com/
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 18th, 2010 at 6:48 am
@diane thanks for stopping by! I will go check out your blog.
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I feel like I’m in the terrible 1 and a 1/2′s! We all have our good days and bad days and get through it. Helps to blog about it, though – don’t you think?
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Right there with ya! My two year old has us in potty-training purgatory! Just this morning she peed on the floor and told me that she stepped in pee-pee! When I asked her where the pee came from she told me “I pee-pee”.
“where does pee-pee go”
“In the pot-pot”
Does she ever put it in the pot-pot (potty). NOPE!
So I understand your pain. However, (feel free to do the same) your story made me smile. It makes me feel normal. I even laughed a little (not in a bad way!) It always helps to read other stories of what moms go through and I have plenty of funny ones myself!
Right now she is behind me trying to stand on her brother’s push toy telling me, “I stuck and move” so she can sit and watch me type!
So laugh, cry, scream and just know it will all pass!
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You are an awesome Momma! Hang in there…sleep deprivation is one of those things I can never handle and have NEVER been good with. Every kiddo is different but when I work with parents I use the book “Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline” by Becky Bailey. (She has a couple of books I recommend for parents and teachers). I used to teach Love and Logic classes and then I discovered Bailey. She is the voice in my head when things get ugly. It’s truly an empowering book. But I will warn you…I love me some books! Sending you a virtual hug and a big cup of coffee….how long til nap time?
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Oh my gosh, you are not a bad mommy.
Just hang in there.
It gets better
Stopping by from SITS!
Please stop by!
http://extremepersonalmeasures.blogspot.com/
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I can sooo feel your pain. My oldest has been in her terrible twos since the age of 18 months. She is currently 32 months and today is three days in the row of her worst behavior. I was literally shaking she had me so mad. I bought a book a while ago about parenting a strong willed child….I might have to reread it to see if I can get more information. If I find something helpful I will pass it along to you.
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Poor thing! I feel your pain- especially with the sibling fights! I have a 2 and 4 year olds. When I can’t take it anymore, we head outside- rain or shine, freezing cold or scorching hot. We dress for the weather be it raincoats and rainboots, snowsuits, or sunscreen, and we get the heck out of Dodge. It’s my relief time, the kids run off the energy, and there’s usually enough space that sibling fights go away for a while. Hope that helps, and I hope to get some ideas for myself from your other comments!
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I didn’t have the terrible twos, but I had the terrible threes! I think they are just asserting their independence and testing their boundaries. I wish I had a good answer for ya…but the best thing I can offer is to just know that you aren’t alone and that we all go through it at one point or another! And having a cocktail after my son goes to bed always seems to take the edge off.
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Oh and the whining!!!!!
My oldest was perfect – she was. I swear.
This one? She is a lunatic! It is simply because she dropped her AM nap, but still needs the rest. So she has “rest time” but she fights it and then she whines.
If she does rest – no whining!
It is getting her to rest that is the problem.
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One word. Zoloft.
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You’re not a bad mommy, for sure! We’ve all been there. I stop trying to please them when they act like that. I have a 2.5 year old too and when she’s acting like that, I say, “Mommy will not talk to you when you are acting this way. When you stop whining/yelling/whatever I will listen to you.” She sees her sister get that treatment all the time, so she knows when I say it, I mean it. She might wail a little longer, but always comes around (so far). I’ve found through my oldest, that the more you try to please them the harder they are to please and then who’s even more angry than them? You. And that’s no fun for anyone. Good luck, I feel for you.
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You are not a bad mommy. I believe any mommy, especially a mommy of at least one little diva can relate. Girls are hard. They are demanding and spicy. Just remember….this will pass. For me, my first was great at 2. 3 was a different story. I called it the terrible 2′s and the f-ing 3′s (pardon my language there). My second little diva, who is 20 months, started into the terrible two at about 18 months. Just know you are not alone….I feel for you. And just think….we get to go through puberty in about 10 years. Yeeeaaahhh!!!
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I think calling or thinking of them as “divas” is just going to bite you in the ass.
You need to respond positively to good behavior and minimize attention to bad behavior.
Also don’t try too hard to reason with them. Short sentences and just make statements. I talked like a Klingon to my kids when they were little and it was very effective. Be good, go park. Be bad, stay home. Baby choose.
Also leaving food in a supermarket shopping cart and carrying a screaming toddler out of the supermarket and serving less than exciting food at home is really effective at supermarket behavior modification.
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my baby is turning 2 this May and boy–was he a major wrecker! He broke 2 remote controls already, a boombox, my favorite 70′s CDs, a keyboard, the webcam and everything else he laid his eyes on!
Sometimes, it is just so stressful dealing with a child this age, I couln’t help but give him the timeout and the worst I’ve done is a cold treatment. But that was before. I learned to control myself now, try to talk to him looking straight in the eyes and just watch him smile–it takes away the negative chi afterwards. I’ve also tried paying more attention to his achievements or good attitudes and focus on his mental and emotional development
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 20th, 2010 at 9:37 am
@anne yes I agree focusing on the positive is probably the best thing for us to do. But sometimes after only 3 hours of sleep it is just really hard.
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OMG, I have no idea and my 2 year old’s naughty behavior is feeling waaaay personal to me right now. I hate adding links to my own site in comments because it feels tacky, but I wanted you to know I am going through the same thing and it ain’t pretty!
http://mommyfriend.com/2010/01/08/when-your-kid-is-the-bad-kid.aspx
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
February 21st, 2010 at 6:41 am
@lori than you for stopping by and for adding your link to your post. I do not think it is tacky at all. It makes me feel better to know I am not along in this. Thank you!
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Of the above comments, I’m in with the finding the positive. And with a 2.5 and 10 month old (and working 3 days/week), I know it’s hard to do…especially when they make it so hard! I also know that My Toddler is just wanting some attention…and that she’ll get it one way or another. At the end of the day (and isn’t that when all major tantrums are???), it’s up to me to find a few positive things to praise. Or else we have tears, tantrums and multiple time-outs.
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I am SO there now…and my little guy is 20 months old. The first public temper tantrum he had–I cracked up laughing – it just struck me as hilarious…like “what can I do really, except just pick him up and leave”…and thinking “ok people, if you think YOU can do something with a kicking, screaming, back-arching, arm-flailing child who wants to live at the carwash—GO FOR IT!” lol. SO I just howled with glee and removed him…and eventually he stopped and joined the laughter. I hope my reactions like this will continue (but somehow…I don’t think they will!)
Here via Twitter Moms….stop by and see me too?
Thanks!
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Happy FF!! I’m a new follower:) Come see me at my blog.
Anat
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This Mama Works It! Reply:
March 6th, 2010 at 8:05 am
@anat thanks for stopping by! I will head on over to check your blog out.
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