After schooling in engineering, undergrad and grad, no parental help, working minimum wage jobs during school, I came out $75k in student loan debt (a $900 monthly payment), $8k in credit card debt (books, food, tuition, etc. that I couldn’t cover by working or loans) and a crappy job market. These loans were one of my biggest mistakes EVER!

Everyone handles debt differently, and I didn’t realize how much it would weigh on my mind. The emotional “cost” of the debt took a higher toll on me than the $30k in interest I paid back. Also knowing that if I fell on hard economic times (due to job loss, illness, disability, etc), it would be near impossible to discharge my student loans frightened the hell out of me. I had no idea that was the case when I signed those loan papers. The only way to get rid of them is to pay up or die.

Oh, and surprise! I did come down with a life threatening illness in the middle of repaying my loans. But I worked during the treatments … all because I had those loans to pay.

From the time I stepped into a kindergarten classroom up until I graduated high school, I was brainwashed into believing that a college education is required to provide economic freedom, choices and opportunities. And hence that student loans would be more than worth it. Ironically, student loans enslaved me. I feel cheated and lied to. Mostly I am angry at myself for believing all that garbage. I still haven’t forgiven myself for being so naive.

Oh, and I know several people with high school diplomas or certificates that have done just fine without college. Proper money management and living within their means seems to be key. But that is key at any income.

Because of my student loans, I decided not to get married or have kids. I just couldn’t see that I could do it and not have my finances completely trashed into my 40s or even my 50s. And now I have to focus on saving for retirement.

While I understand that some people feel positive about their student loans, and although I am very happy for them, I have been through hell because of those loans. My student loan has taught me many things – above all else is to be leery of taking on debt, and I will avoid it as much as possible for the rest of my life. That is the only positive thing I can say about my student loan experience.

Let me rephrase that. We got some high interest MBA loans and financed the rest of our graduate education with my credit card. Needless to say, we’re now paying the cosequences. Don’t get me wrong, I make more money than the average professional thanks to that MBA, but it’s like I’m constantly juggling all of these payments and if one of the balls drops, the domino effect could crush us.

What I’m peeved about latley is how the government is talking about how if you work for 10 years in public service that they will forgive your loans. Simple as that, as they state it, but the truth is that only counts for people who can qualify for the income contingent plan and repay their loans on that plan (paying way more in interest than higher standard payments). I work in state government and my husband’s and my combined income are too much to qualify for that payment plan so I will never see loan forgiveness.

I guess I’m just grumpy that they won’t pay off my loans, but they talk about working hard and how education is the key. I worked really hard and graduated at the top of my class and did this on my own. I think merit and not just need should count for something if education really is the key. I think if they looked at my debt to income ratio rather than income alone I’d probably qualify. If they offered this to everyone maybe people would work in the public service sector longer, as of now I have no incentive to keep acepting lower pay than the private sector so once research rebounds I’ll be out.